Tag Archives: writer

October Release

It’s been about half a year since I last made a post. But I’m a writer, so inevitably I always end up on this blog. That’s mainly due to me releasing or in the process of publishing a novel. Earlier this year a friend inspired me to finish one of my favorite projects originally named, Love Bleeds Red but has now been rewritten as, Pretty Monsters.

The story is about a girl who was cursed by a demon two centuries before the story takes place. The curse gives her immortality in exchange for her humanity. She can never die but every living thing she encounters will fear and either run away or attack her. So for two hundred years she suffers loneliness, persecution and isolation. It seems her life will be an eternity of darkness until she meets a boy who for some reason is immune to the effects of her curse. He falls for her instantly and despite her strongest efforts she can’t seem to push him away so he can’t discover her dark secret. As she lets him in she has to keep him from getting hurt from the darkness inside of her.

This story has a lot of supernatural elements along with action and romance. I got inspiration from Harry Potter while writing the story over and over. I wanted it to have a magical and out of this world sort of feel to it. Then I added horrific elements to make it out to be a somewhat romantic and dark fairy tale. I tried to include a lot of mythical creatures (no spoilers) some already known and others I made on my own. Pretty Monsters has been requested over and over from people who either know me personally or have had a class with me and heard about the story. I’ve finished its final draft and now it’s in the revision and editing stage. I plan to release it on Halloween because what a better time to release a horror themed story on Halloween?

Aside from the story writing I’ve been up to quite a lot this year. I’m finishing up my final semester at Ivy Tech before I transfer to university. From there I plan to major in Journalism and pursue a career in reporting. I have thoughts about going back to school sometime later to become a detective. It all depends on where I’m at in life in about 4 years.

That’s it for my update. I felt like blogging today. It’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve been getting weekly views for some reason and can’t figure out from who or why. But it’s brought me back. I plan to start blogging every other day or weekly.




Day 22 out of 30.

Dream’s Bridge by T. Edward Redd

Dreams of a Mysterious Girl Continued.

The quiet ride on the semi-busy highway lasted for a half hour. No one spoke a word except for Riley singing to herself. Mom and Dad were probably thinking about my leave and how I wouldn’t be around anymore. When we parked at the airport garage my mother started crying again.

“He’s leaving us, Adam. He’s really going away.” She whimpered..

I got out and started grabbing my bags from the trunk. It was hard to hear her cry like that. It was even harder since it was because of me. But I had to leave Lancington. I just did. I needed to see what was out in the world. My heart was set on Yelich and I wasn’t going to change my mind. After I had all of my bags I shut the trunk and looked towards the airport entrance.

It was really packed for a Monday morning. The garage was flooded with cars. People were walking back and forth, young and old. College students most likely. I wasn’t the only student from my school who got accepted to Yelich. It got me excited. As I grabbed my bags my mom grabbed my laptop bag. When I looked back I saw all three of them standing there.

“Let me carry this,” my mom said.

“Mom. It’s fine.”

They just ignored me in a really strange manner. Mom took my laptop bag and Dad took my suitcase. Even he looked sad at that point. It made sense now. They were being nice because I was leaving soon. It was their last chance to help me carry something or clean up after me. It was their last chance to be my parents. Once I was on that plane there wasn’t going to be much they could do besides send money or visit me every so often. I shook my head and respected their kindness.

“Thank you,” I said.

Dad barely managed not to cry. He sniffled and said, “Your plane will leave soon. We should hurry, son.”

We walked through the garage and into the airport. It was my first time inside one. It was so huge. When we left the garage, we stood on this moving walkway that took us across the entrance room. There were currency exchange booths, drivers with signs waiting for travelers and even newly weds going to a honeymoon in Lancington.

From there we took an escalator up a level. Then finally we were on the top level with all of the check in stations. After I checked in my bags and got my ticket, we went to the food court. I had to beg my mom to stop babying me. So they just let me walk on my own for a bit.

The food court was like those food courts they have in malls. They had all sorts of fast food places all around. Besides food places they also had bookstores, accessory and souvenir shops. There wasn’t any time to eat since we were already late for check in. So I bought some gum and soda pop for breakfast. My family was just sitting at a round table in the middle of the food court.

“Riley leave the plants alone,” I heard my mom say. She took my sister’s hand and led her away from large plants lined around railings leading to the escalator. I walked to the table as I opened with my packet of gum.

“Wow,” I said. “I’ve never seen this many people before.”

My father looked at his watch for the hundredth time. He said, “Forty minutes. You might want to get on board, son. It takes a while to find your seat. Then you have to put your bags away,” he sniffled.

“Oh. Right.” I suddenly had this lump in my throat. It felt like I had swallowed a large marble or something. I took my laptop bag and one of the black bags I chose as my hand luggage. See, at airports they let you take two bags on. One personal item and a bag. So I chose my laptop and the bag with my books. All of my other things were in luggage somewhere on the back of the plane. Anyway I gathered my bags and all of the sudden I had to use the restroom.

I put the bags down as quickly as I picked them up. “Restroom,” I said before quickly walking off. My mom called for me. Probably wondering why I left so randomly. I didn’t answer back as I zigzagged between the dozens of people in front of the restroom. My eyes were fixed on the ground. The moment finally hit me. I was going REALLY far away from home for a REALLY long time.

But that was the point right? I was going away on this journey for new experiences and a fresh start. No rich snobs and overly structured social classes. I should have been overjoyed and thrilled. But my nerves were rattling like bones in some dry deserted island with no one around to offer me water. I was scared out of my mind. It got worse when I went into the restroom and bumped into someone without looking.

I staggered back and finally took my eyes off the ground. Now the hairs on my back were rising as I saw this pudgy man in a black trench coat. He had this wild black hair that covered his face and eyes. He was at least a foot taller than me.

“Watch it, kid! You made me drop my briefcase.”

“Ah! Sorry,” I said fast. “I didn’t see you!”

He grunted and shooed his hand at me. He bent down to pick up his briefcase as this shorter and thinner guy walked beside him. He had blonde hair, weird shades and unlike his friend, he was wearing a white polo with brown kakis.

He said, “Give the kid a break, Luf.”

Seriously? Luf? That was this guy’s name? Add that to their accents and I seriously started thinking these two were murderers or something. Not those bank robbing murderers. They gave off this body snatcher’s vibe. Everything about them came off as sketchy and dangerous. Like how the big guy looked at me or how the blonde guy was grinning at me way too much.

“I don’t care about this idiot,” Luf grunted. “We need to hurry and get on the damn plane. We’ll be in trouble if we miss it.”

That’s when the blonde guy lit a cigarette and started smoking. He started smoking in the restroom like it was nothing. I was repulsed. “Hey! You can’t smoke that in here, man.”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Bloody American. I thought you lot were supposed to be cool.” He dropped it and stepped on it. Slowly he rubbed it out as he said, “Let’s get out of here, Luf. Stay in school kid.” They started walking towards me. The big guy made me flinched but never tried to grab me. When they left the bathroom my pocket started to vibrate really, REALLY loud.

I screamed and jump shouting, “No! No don’t kill me!” But no one was behind me. They were gone. I hadn’t been hit with a stun gun or stabbed. My pocket vibrated again and that’s when I realized my phone was going off. My father was calling me and I knew why. My plane was going to leave in ten minutes! Forgetting why I went to the restroom in the first place, I quickly raced out and met my family.

“What took you so long? Have you changed your mind,” Mother said with hope.

“No. I got distracted. I have to hurry,” I said nervously. I grabbed my bags, ignored my mother’s questioning and urged everyone to follow me to the check in station. There were two entries; A and B. My plane was at entry B. My family couldn’t follow me once I was past the gate. Beyond the gate was security and bag checkings. I heard my mom sobbing and felt Riley tugging to my leg. It was time to say goodbye.

“Son. You should hurry or you’ll miss your flight,” my dad said.

“No don’t go. Please stay, big brother.” Riley tugged on my leg with one hand as she held her thumb to her lip. She looked so nervous and sad. I bent down to her and patted her head.

I said, “I have to. This is the next step in my life. I want you to do me a big favor. I want you to take really good care of Mom and Dad while I’m gone. This is going to be rough for them.”

She was so strong and brave. Tears were flowing down her face but she refused to sob or anything. When I wiped her tears she finally took a breath. That’s when she couldn’t hold them any longer. She hugged me tight and said, “Ok. But promise me you’ll come back and pay firefly with me?”

“I promise.”

The last call for Canson City was made. That’s when I had to hurry. Or I really would miss the flight. I stood up from Riley.

I said, “I guess this is goodbye then you guys.”

Dad said, “I’m proud of you, Son. Go out there and have fun. Don’t get distracted from school but still have fun.” He gave me his last hug. Then Mom and Riley joined in. It was the last time I hugged them before leaving Lancington. After that I was heading towards the lines with my bags. After I went through security and checked in, all I had to do was follow the groups of people heading towards my plane’s terminal.

There were dozens of people of all ages, ethnicities, shapes and sizes. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I heard so many dialects and languages. There wasn’t anytime to take in the moment. I was finally at the terminal. We all stepped into this walkway that connected the plane to the building. It was really chilly and the air felt fresh. It was only in the walkway. Once you got on the plane the temperature dropped instantly to room temperature and the air felt less fresh and clear.

The plane wasn’t as big as the movies showed. It was actually PRETTY crowded. I kind of felt like I was in a classroom. Everyone was seated on the rows left and right. Some stared at you but most people were too busy getting themselves and their families adjusted. It was hard not to get excited. I forgot to mention that this was my first plane ride alone and I had only been on a plane once and it was to Yelich with my family. So all of this was both exciting and nerve racking all at once.

My row was A20. After squeezing and maneuvering passed the dozens of passengers I was at my seat. I was lucky enough to get a seat next to the window. After putting my bags into the overhead compartments I took my seat. Everything was finally set in stone. I was soon to be flying to Canson City. Being seated for a while gave me time to think about everything. Mostly my family.

Day 18 of 30. Tomorrow!

All week I’ve been talking about sharing the concept art for Florescent Dream. Just to give a little recap. Florescent Dream is a graphic novel I have decided to write and illustrate for this year and hopefully have it finished before next year. Why? So I can have a display during Indy ComicCon AND publish my very own graphic novel.

Now that I have my story’s general idea I’ve started the pre-production stage. This is where I gather concept art, settings and write my story’s script so I can sketch, ink and color things out. This is one of the feats I want to achieve and even though this is a tough and time consuming challenge I’m confident I can do this. I published my own book! Surely I can make a graphic novel. I simply refuse NOT to achieve this. Anyway moving on to my news.

Today I will NOT be sharing my artwork. Here’s why. I got a little in over my head with this whole blogging thing. I want my post to be nice, clean and well constructed when it comes to sharing this dream of mine and its progress. Right now I don’t have enough time to make that kind of post. If I do it now it will be VERY sloppy and not very elaborate. Since I’m doing this blog challenge I make it a point to post before 12a.m every day. I would rather postpone a post and have it look GREAT the next day versus posting some sloppy writing.

So sometime this week MOST LIKELY tomorrow I will be posting my work. I already have the some concept art ready to show. When I make this post I will be explaining the whole story and the idea I have. It’s going to be awesome and I look forward to sharing this journey with the people who read this blog. It shall be a BLAST!

Even though I’m becoming a art nerd these days I am still the fiction fanatic. I’ll make it a point to keep writing and sharing my stories. Here’s more of Beyond a Lifetime!

She grabbed her face and began crying. “I’m crazy. I’m completely insane.” When she opened her eyes she let out a scream. Her body jerked away from the windshield. Someone was lying on their back on her car’s hood. Quickly she got out of the car and ran to the body.

“Oh no. Hey! HEY! Are you ok?” He was covered in blood and scratches. His body was nearly caved into the car’s hood. She tried pulling him out. “No. I’ve hit someone. Oh no. Hey!”

“Relax. He’s still alive.” Violet jumped and screamed when she saw Liel beside her. His tail waved in the air slowly as he scurried towards her.

“How are you talking? What’s going on? Is he really?”

Liel nodded. “A fall like that couldn’t kill him. Does he look familiar?” He jumped onto the hood of the car close to the body. Violet observed the toned body, his soft brown skin and curly black hair. She covered her mouth and gasped.

“Impossible. No. I really have lost my mind. Is that…”

“Yes. It’s the boy you dream about. Thome Lily. They weren’t dreams Violet. They have deeper meaning. You and Thome are connected and you both have a special purpose in this realm.”

“We do?” she said.

“Yes. I will explain things later. But we have to get him somewhere safe so he can rest.” Violet tugged and tugged on the boy’s body. He was barely budging.

She grunted as she pulled him harder. “He weighs a ton! Agh!” Her hand slipped and she fell onto her rear.

“What are you doing? There’s no time to fool around,” Liel said.

“Fool around? I wasn’t!” She stood and grabbed Thome by both arms and pulled hard. “He’s…so…heavy!” Sweat began pouring from her skin. She pulled harder and harder. Slowly his body started lifting from the car’s hood. She sat him up and held him, trying to catch her breath.

“Great! Now put him in so we can take him away from here. Hurry!”

Violet said, “You mean carry him? He’s so heavy! And you aren’t being very polite about it either.”

“Violet…” Thome was muttering. She looked to him. His golden eyes were watching her. He breathed heavily and said, “Are you alright?”

She could feel her face getting warm. “Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?” Thome looked away then his eyes aimed at the sky. Violet followed his gaze. Without any warning he limped off of the car.

“She. She’s still alive. I didn’t win. I have to stop them or, AGH!” He nearly fell as he grabbed his chest. Violet caught him and nearly fell with him. Her legs shook as she held him up. She felt the warmness of his blood seeping onto her dress.

“Oh no. He’s bleeding really bad. Hey can you walk?”

He stared at her. “Violet.” His hand rubbed her face as he smiled weakly. “At least I was able to protect you.” His head dropped and he nearly fell. Violet held him up and helped him to her car. The door opened on its own and she put him in the backseat. Immediately he fell over.

Violet covered her mouth as she gasped. “Oh no! Hey!” She sat him up and shook him. Liel jumped into the front seat as the car doors shut. The car quickly sped off on its own. Violet looked around saying, “How is this car moving on its own?”

“I’m controlling it with my mind. No time to explain. You have to heal his wounds.”

“What? I don’t know about premed. You’re thinking about my parents. We should take him to a doctor.”

Liel jumped onto Thome’s chest. He scratched the shirt open and ripped it away with his mouth. Violet blushed and looked away nervously. But an odd wound drew her attention. Thome had a deep gash across his chest. It was glowing red around the edges.

“A demon did this to him,” Liel said. “No human doctor can heal this. You have to do it. You’re the only one that can.”

“Me? But how?”

“Place your hands out towards his wound.”

And she did. His body was as tough as steel. She couldn’t figure out why his body was so abnormally rugged. And cold. Her fingers nearly lost their sense of touch. She pulled away fast.

“Why is he so cold?” She asked.

“Dying,” Liel said. “He’s lost his immortality. This is worse than I thought. Hurry! Heal his wound.”

She placed her hands towards his wound. She looked at the cat and said, “What am I supposed to do?” Liel pounced on her hands. They pressed firmly against Thome’s freezing body. He began to scream in agony.

Violet tried pulling away, “Stop! You’re making me hurt him!”

Liel said, “No. It’s working. See for yourself.”

Her hands were glowing yellow. Steam began spilling from Thome’s wound as it healed fast. It was closing rapidly. Suddenly it was gone. Thome stopped screaming and struggling and went limp.

Day 16 out of 30. Beyond a Lifetime. Continued.

I’ve decided to post more of Beyond a Lifetime today. I got some feedback for it and it pretty much made my day. I’ve got two days until I start posting concept art on my websites so at the moment I’m drawing my butt off. Today I was at the zoo and I talked to one of those people who do the little toon portraits. She made a suggestion that I should do fan art to attract fans to my websites. So now for the first time I’m doing fan art. I’ve always been against it because I’m a firm believer in being original. But I’ll be adding my own originality so it should be fun. Can’t wait to share!

Here’s more, Beyond a Lifetime.

She said, “Mr. Simons. I do socialize. Bible study remember? I go every Tuesday. Which reminds me…” An alarm clock on her phone began beeping. She took it out to see it was thirty minutes until 5pm. She smiled as she stood up. “I forgot that today was Tuesday.” She picked up a purple bag beside her and stood.

“I don’t think bible study is helping. It may be influencing these things you see.”

She said, “Bible study is one of the few things that relaxes me. Thank you, Mr. Simons. Same time tomorrow?”

He nodded as he shut his notebook. They walked out of the office and down a hall clothed in white walls and brown wooden flooring. After waving the secretary goodbye, Violet went through a set of double doors that led outside. Doctor Simons was behind her.

“Be safe,” he said. “Try and get out. Invite some friends over. Or go out and make some friends. Any sort of social interactions will be good. Not with ghost or animals. Just people.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” she said. “I have to get to bible study. Then I have to study for my placement exams for college. If I score high I won’t have to take prep classes. Have a good night, Mr. Simons!” She waved with an optimistic smile and quickly raced to her car.

No one understood why she liked bible study so much. Violet found everything about the Bible to be fascinating. She stood up for hours each night reading stories from it. She spent lunch periods reading it, despite what her classmates thought. She couldn’t wait to get to the church by her home.

It was a small and white cathedral. Violet always parked in the front row of the parking lot. Closest to the church. She loved the way it looked from a certain distance. It was surrounded by grass and looked very archaic. As usual she was one of the few dozens of people who arrived. Not too many came if it wasn’t a Sunday.

She stepped out of the car and took in the air. Something about being close to the church made her feel light and safe. She couldn’t explain it. But churches gave off a certain energy when she was near them. Almost as if they had some invisible safeguard around them. Even the air smelled cleaner.

She held her bible close to her chest as she walked to the cathedral. On her way she stopped. A teenaged girl with a gash on her face walked to her. She was rubbing her eyes as she yawned.

Violet said, “Amanda. Hey. Wow, you look really tired. Are you ok?”

“Violet those mean boys keep playing around my grave. I can hardly get any rest. Do you mind shooing them away so I can rest in peace?”

Violet nodded and led her back. The church had a small grave site beside it. There were only a few tombs there. Occasionally, dead spirits would come to Violet. Typically if they were being troubled or disturbed. They were mostly harmless unless provoked. When Violet and Amanda made it to the graveyard they saw three boys racing around the graveyard.

One of the boys tripped over Amanda’s tomb. Flowers near her grave were crushed beneath his body. She let out a heavy breath. “How’s a dead girl supposed to rest with those brats running around? Mother brought those yesterday and now their ruined.”

“Hey! Boys knock it off. Have respect for the dead!” They looked to see Violet. Her tone was anything but mean. It was full of concern and compassion. They didn’t bother to argue with her. They simply ran off. She turned to Amanda and apologized.

“Don’t worry about it. At least now I can sleep. Thanks, Violet. Hey is that your cat?” Violet looked back to see a small bobtail sitting in the grass. Its fur had an odd pattern of white stripes.

“You again?” Violet said. “How did you follow me? The school is miles from here.”

“Violet Orchid. Have you seen Thome Lily?”

She turned away blushing. “Only in my dreams. I’ve told you that. This is crazy. Cats can’t talk. Maybe something really is wrong with me.”

“I’m not cat. I’m an angel lion and my name is, Liel. I’m looking for Thome. He’s in danger. You have to help me find him.”

“Danger?” Violet asked. “What kind of danger?” Before he could say anything, Martha, one of the regular bible study students, came into the graveyard. She was happy to see Violet.

“Hey! I thought I’d find you here. Did you see another ghost?”

Violet nodded. “Some boys were disturbing Amanda’s grave. They’re gone now.”

“Of course they are. Violet come into the church. We’re about to begin. Pastor Gresha wants you to lead prayer. The cat will have to stay outside.” She took Violet’s hand and lead her out of the graveyard.

Day 10 of 30 Blog Challenge: Graphic novels and short stories


I’ve just finished my math final and I’m pretty confident in my performance. Everything was familiar and I knew what I was doing. Honestly I’ve never been that confident when taking a math exam. Too be fair though I did study my butt off. It felt pretty good. Still. I hate math and I’m glad to be finished with it. With school out of the way for a brief moment I can start putting extra time into my graphic novel and fiction novels.

Last night I worked on the plot summary for the idea I have. This is the rough summary so far.

The story is about Magenta Orchid who is also the city superhero, Daphne the Florescent Dream. When she isn’t fighting crime she lives an ordinary life as a college student pursuing a degree in education. For fun she’s on the university swim team. She purposely gets ranked dead last in order to protect her identity. However she slowly begins showing her true self around her crush, Jesse Crimson.

Jesse is an easy going, highly lovable and hardworking student at Louis Derr University. He’s on the swim team with Magenta and his rank is the opposite of hers. He’s the team captain and ranked number one in the city. After getting beaten by Magenta in a secret rematch he’s forced to take her out on a date as a bet the two made. Slowly he falls for her the more they spend time together. This upsets the former swim team captain, Adam Forest who is deeply obsessed with Magenta.

After he discovers Jesse and Magenta are together he’s driven mad. He attempts to murder Jesse in disguise by using one of his father’s highly advanced military weapons. He nearly succeeds but is thwarted by the Florescent Dream. Adam then becomes hell-bent on destroying her, as he slowly becomes her arch nemesis, The Red Nightmare. Magenta must protect the one she loves while keeping her superhero life a secret. But can she?

So far I love the plot. Classic comic book theme. I have parts of the novel’s script written out. Right now I’m focused on forming ideas for the story’s setting and characters. Last night I had fun working on the story’s antagonist, Red Nightmare. As soon as I have the sketches finalized I will posting them on here and my deviantart. I’m very excited about this. I really want to have my own graphic novel and being in ComicCon would blow my mind. I’m following through with this. If I can publish a book I know I can publish a comic book.

Blog Challenge Day 3 of 30! Snippets

Today I’ve decided to post some of my work. It’s from a book called, “Whisper” that I’ve been working on back and forth, among other things. Its a YA fiction about a girl, Ellie Derr,  who finds the journal of her crush, Louis Kissinger who had commit suicide. The journal explains his reason for committing suicide. As she get deeper into his writing she begins the lefft subtle messages in his writing that hints that he might have faked his death in order to be forgotten so he can run away and start a new life. Everyone but Ellie believes he’s dead. As the story progresses she begins to wonder if she’s gone crazy and fell in love with a ghost while part of her believes the boy she loves is still alive.

Feedback is welcomed. Enjoy!

“Lastly. If you’re reading this, chances are I’m missing. Most likely dead.”

Louis Wesley Kissinger was pronounced dead, June 3rd, 2035. But he feels alive to me. When a person dies, you feel it. Something inside of you sounds off and you know. That person is no longer alive. You get that feeling all the time at funerals. But with Louis, it was like he had just left. Like he went on some far away trip.

I know how insane it sounds. I realize that the situation is very serious. Louis committed suicide. Autopsies confirmed it. But the fact that a body was never found leaves room for my imagination to wonder. Is Louis actually dead?

And maybe I’m obsessed. Maybe I’ve lost my mind and have gotten attached to a ghost. A ghost whose kiss lingers on my lips. His presence haunts my heart. In both good and bad ways.

Louis was the first boy to make me feel seen. Not my body, but me. He really did treat me like a lady. Louis made me a strong believer in those fairytales. Cheesy romance films and even books, which he got me in to. He opened my eyes and heart to something the world had forgotten. Romance.

Then he left me. He opened my eyes to this world known by few and disappeared. Who else will understand me the way he does? Who else will carry me over puddles and play fight with me? Make me laugh until my stomach hurts? Who? I hold the book close to my chest and try my best not to cry.

Was I not worth living for? He says no one knows who he really is. No one understood. He’s a liar! I know. I do. I’ve felt it. I’ve seen and heard it. I know the part of him Carol didn’t see.

I hold the book tighter and closer to my chest. I whisper his name and shed a tear. In two weeks school will be over. School will be over and I will graduate like I was supposed to last year. He’d be really proud. He knew I was smart even when I didn’t.

I guess the worst part about this, is knowing how it feels to truly be seen and wanted. Now that he’s gone, it feels like I will never have that again. I feel betrayed and abandoned. He never said anything about suicide to me.

Maybe if I had known. No. I know if I had known, I would have stopped him. No matter what. But that’s not possible. Louis is dead. I read the last sentence for the hundredth time.

“Lastly. If you’re reading this, chances are I’m missing. Most likely dead.”

As I sulk at the dinner table, I hear the front door open. Lily walks in laughing. My dad is behind her with a box.

He says, “Are you excited?”

“Yup! This is my dream,” she says. “Thanks for helping me dad. I hope it’s as good as yours someday.”

I partly know what’s in the box. But I watch anyway. Lily and dad walk towards me. They plan to use the table. I look away and wipe my eyes.

Lily says, “Hey it looks like they have dinner ready, dad.”

“Don’t worry. It won’t take long.” He calls mom into the room but she’s already here. She tells my sister to open the box. And so she sets the box on the table and begins opening it like a Christmas present.

It’s just a typical USPS box. Brown, cardboard and it’s about the size of a pencil box. But this is one of those, big things come in small packages, sort of things. She takes out paper and cushioning out. Slowly she takes a book out. Everyone gasps and stares. Mother is on the edge of tears.

Here’s a little recap. My father is kind of this famous author. Since he was a senior in high school, he’s been writing and publishing books. He’s a romance writer. Mom says his debut novel, Hero’s Tale, is what made her fall for him. A couple of years after he graduated, he sold a best seller, Blue Owl. Writing is his passion.

My sister has always been a pretty good storyteller. When we were toddlers she always had a new one. I’m sure dad loves that. For the past two years she’s been working on a book. Father helped her with the publishing but she did everything else on her own, including cover art.

Today is the first time she sees her masterpiece. My sister is now a published author. I watch her stare at the book. It’s small with a yellow and white cover.

Mercury’s Song is the name on the front. Mercury’s Song By: L.O Derr. Why does every author do the two initials and last name thing? It’s like some unwritten rule.

“It looks so professional!” Lily says. “It looks like an actual book. I can see it being on shelves.”

“It is an actual book,” Dad says. He pats her on the back and looks at me. He says, “Ellie! Hey!” He smiles big and rushes to me. His arms wrap around me and he gives me a warm hug. I can’t help but smile and hug him back.

Despite my current mood, he makes me laugh. My tears dry up as he pats me on the head softly. I swat it away playfully.

“Don’t,” I laugh. “You’ll get it all messy!” He sits beside me. Even though my tears are gone, he can probably tell something is bothering me. Louis’s memoir is still in my arms. He knows I don’t like to read. Instead of asking about the book, he grabs my homework paper.

“Wow. Pre-calculus huh? I hated that subject. I was awful.”

I laugh again. “Mom told me. It’s actually not that hard once you memorize your formulas and equations.”

He laughs a bit and hugs me. He’s being affectionate, letting me know he’s there. Dad knows how Louis’s suicide has affected me. He asks if I want to talk about it. I say no.

I look at the book and stare at its blank cover. For a while, I wonder if he did it on purpose. Blank like a canvas. Waiting for the next person to paint their own picture of him because of his silence. Refusing to see the already painted picture. Failing to see Louis Wesley Kissinger.

“Nobody really knew him,” I say softly. “Sometimes I wonder why he did it. The obvious answer is loneliness. He felt alone.”

My mom is beside me now. They both get close to me to comfort me. Dry the tears I’ve failed to hold. For the fifth time this week. I hear cardboard rubbing on itself. My eyes catch Lily closing the USPS box as she walks away from the table. I’ve ruined her moment. I cry even harder.

Part of me wants to let go. He’s been gone so long. His hold on me only causes me to stress everyone around me out. My sister didn’t get to enjoy her masterpiece. Her sister, Lily is having another episode. I want to stop but I can’t. I love him. I really do.

Mom and Dad have been trying to calm me down. I can’t hear what they’re saying. I’m spacing out again, wondering why I hadn’t seen the signs. How did I let him slip through my arms. I literally had them wrapped around him. He was seen. I knew him. And I let him die.

“Ellie don’t say that. This isn’t your fault,” my dad says. I had spoken without realizing it.

“But it is!” I cry. “I was the very last person to hold him! I never saw him again after prom. I could have done something.”

“No,” my mother says. “He decided to take his own life. It’s unfortunate and very sad. But you can’t blame yourself for his actions!” I snap when she says that.

“He must have been so scared and lonely when he did it! Do you people ever think about how hard it was? Or how incredibly helpless he felt? To feel so helpless that he felt the only way out was death? Do you ever think about that? No! You only think about the fact that he did it. Not the reasons why or his pain.”

“Ellie it’s not like that,” Father pleads. “His death hurt all of us. Everyone wants to know why.”

They try to calm me down, but my emotions have devoured me. I push away and storm off. How dare they blame him. Louis wasn’t some basket case. Not some introvert. He was a person damn it! A really good one.

I race up stairs as fast as I can. My room is the last door on the left of the hall. Fifth door down. I go inside, shut the door and sit on my bed. It’s just me and the book now. I want to put it down but I can’t. I need to read this. It’s time. I open the book and start from the beginning.

“If you’re reading this, you’re one of the following: a family member, a friend, an ex, or someone who knew me. Not too many people will get a hold of this book.”

I did. I knew him. Louis Wesley Kissinger went missing. Exactly one year from today, May 10th, 2035. It was a little over a week after senior prom. This time of the year makes me think about him the most. I know Louis like no one else does.

“If you’re reading this then it also means that I actually went through with it. I decided on this when I was working one day with Carol. She was rude as usual. Normally it wouldn’t have gotten to me. But that day was different. Part of me broke while the other refused to crack. But I’ll talk about that later.”

My fingers are shaking. I can feel my eyes starting to water and I want to stop reading. I can’t believe he actually did this. I want to close the book and shove it away. I don’t even like reading. Especially not sad things. But my hands hold the book firmly as my eyes stare at the last sentence of the page.

“Lastly. If you’re reading this, chances are I’m missing. Most likely dead.”

A single tear falls onto the word dead and I forget to breathe. I gasp for air and slightly choke. It hurts. But I hold the book even tighter. It’s too late to stop. I have to read it now. I have to find out why. Why did he do this? What was I to him? Why hadn’t he told me? All the answers lie in these pages. I have to read this. I turn the page. I begin to read the story from a ghost, Louis Wesley Kissinger.

Blog Challenge Day: Into the world of dating

One of my biggest dreams is to some day become a great husband and father. At age 21 I realize how early and odd it is to be thinking about something like that. But it’s just the way I am. It’s something I think about. Obviously when I date I don’t try and see if the girl is “the one”. I take my time, I have fun and play things by ear.

I’m a strong believer in people having control of their destinies and dreams. My belief is if you want something in your life it’s your job to go get it. For example I wanted to become an author. So instead of leaving things to chance I took the steps needed to finish a book the publish it. I believe this applies to the dating world. If you want romance you can’t sit around waiting for it to show up

You aren’t going to meet anyone special by sitting home all day watching tv. You have to be living and out in the world. I have been told that you can’t go looking for love. True. But love doesn’t really have a chance at finding you if you aren’t anywhere to be found either. A few weeks ago I gave my life a little tune-up and started going out more and doing things I enjoy and have a passion for.

Almost everyday I go to the gym and school to either work on stories or my studies. Every now and then I’ll visit and art museum or catch a show downtown. I’m an explorer. I’ll do anything I find interesting. I’m thinking about starting rock climbing to exercise my body more. The point is I am active and not stuck in the house anymore.

While I’m out and about I make it a point to meet any woman I find attractive, granted they don’t have a wedding ring. Nothing over the top. No pickup lines or Hollywood moves. I simply go up to the woman, pay her a compliment and greet her. If she’s open to talking I continue. If she isn’t I respectfully move on with my day and continue what I was doing.

At first this was pretty nerve-wreaking and scary. You never know how people will react or what they will say. But since dating is something I want in my life, it’s my job to get it in my life. I feel like a lot of guys have trouble with meeting new women. I didn’t want to be that type of guy. I didn’t want to be 30 and still intimidated by attractive women. So I went to work. BIG TIME.  The only way to date is by meeting women no matter where or when.

My first week was shaky. My willingness to put my ego and self out there and risk getting embarrassed and or rejected was pretty low. But at the same I was so sick and tired of doubting myself and not even trying. It wasn’t just about meeting someone. It was about believing in myself no matter what.  Over and over again I would approach, greet and meet. For the most part people are usually kind. It’s either a hit or miss. Sometimes I do get burned and other times I don’t get burned. Overall the confidence I gain from doing this makes it all worth it.

It only took me a month to get comfortable with meeting women who pull my interest. I can meet any woman at any time and place now. Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not out here sleeping around. I don’t go for married or committed women. And I’m not a player whatsoever. I’ve just gotten this level of confidence that allows me to meet people without fear while at the same time not letting that confidence get to my head. I do flirt around a lot. But I feel that’s fair as long as I’m not leading anyone on. Trust me once I get something steady going with someone my focus will be on them. My ultimate goal is to get into a relationship but I realize that can’t be forced. So I meet people until I reach that goal.

I can honestly say I’m glad I started this. It’s really paying off. A month ago it took every nerve in my body to meet a woman I liked. I always thought it was creepy or awkward. The truth is people appreciate it when you take the time to meet them IF you do it the right way. Don’t approach anyone spitting vulgarity or you might get a lawsuit. I always make sure to talk to people they way I would want to be talked to. Respect.

My hard work got me a pretty amazing last night. I met a girl a few days ago during my break at work. I had seen her a few times but only recently started talking to her. During my break I went to get my usual meal and when I saw her I flirted a bit. It made my day when she smiled the girliest smile. I was going to wait to ask her out but I couldn’t resist. So I gave her a little note and told her to read it after she finished work so she wasn’t distracted.

One thing led to another and we ended up going out for bowling and dinner at this incredible entertainment center. We made a bet that the winner had to buy dinner. It was fun and she was pretty…good. I was goofing around a bit and she started to beat me. The point of the bet was for me to win so I could treat her to dinner. But of course I came back and beat her.

Dinner was great. We didn’t even eat our food. We sat there talking and laughing. Just getting to know each other for hours. I really enjoyed it. Things felt really laid-back and simple. The last official date I had was in January in another country which inevitably ended with me being torn (a story not worth telling). So I needed last night. It was a nice refresher and I got to spend time with someone very interesting.

Our night ended on a high-note. Before I started this whole dating life and confidence with women thing, I made an oath to myself to stay grounded. I will never let the confidence go to my head. I won’t be arrogant or over the top. And I’m bringing romance back. Last night I made it a big deal to make that a GREAT night for her. I held doors for her, made her smile and laugh. I wanted to make the night memorable for her.

I had such a good time that I gave her a pink flower and asked her out to a second date. I had it sitting in my car with a water stem attached. If the date went well she would get it. Terrible and she wouldn’t. The flower was a thank you gesture. She took time out of her weekend to enjoy a night out with me. Not only that but I had a really good time. A beautiful girl with an amazing and quirky personality. I definitely forward to that second date. Resisting the urge to text her as I type.

I’m pretty sure I’m right about this destiny thing. It seems to me like when I work for what I want I eventually get it. I do believe in faith and things happening by chance. But I believe every person has the power to make those “by chance” moments to happen. I know some will argue with me but I like my results. I would rather work for something and know there’s a chance in getting it instead of just leaving things to chance alone. If you want something in life, make a plan, follow it and persist.

This post was meant to be up yesterday. But after I came home from working out I had little time. I still had to get ready for the date and buy the flower. I couldn’t be late to a date I offered so I put off blogging. That’s a good excuse right? Anyway I’m not sure why I chose my dating life to be my first post. I guess I want to start opening up more on my blog and show my current and future followers who I am and what I’m about. I’m more than just a fiction writer.

I’m interested in hearing about the dreams of others and what people are doing to catch those dreams. Do you want to meet someone special? What obstacles do you face and how do you overcome them? Want to write a book? What’s stopping you from publishing? It can be ANY dream. None are too big or small. Leave a comment below and share your dreams, experiences and stories. Enjoy your Sunday!

Follow my blog! I have a goal to reach 1k by next January. I’m looking to make my blog inspiring for people who dream like I do. I’ll post about my experiences with my pursuit of my desires and dreams so it will hopefully inspire others to do the same. I’m the ordinary guy doing big things.

I love this! If you LOVE romance or love to read in general FOLLOW THIS BLOG. Seriously, I follow back always and who doesn’t like mutual support? I’ve seen reviewers too. FOLLOW. Because I will need people to critique my books, good or bad, doesn’t matter. Some help is better than none at all. I’ll keep you guys updated. Thanks to all that follow me. If you have a fan page, I’ll be sure to follow you. Thanks followers 🙂 Keep writing and blogging