Destination Happiness

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Take a moment and think about where you want to be in life. Think about that dream you have. Picture the moment that will make you the happiest in your life. A lot of us spend most of our lives going to school, then working long days for years on in. During those moments we picture ourselves reaching this special place and at the end of that vision we see ourselves at this happy spot. Some people are raising families at the end of that vision, some people finally find the one and get married, some people have successful careers. For the most part though we see ourselves happy at the end. At the END.

This didn’t come to me until I noticed a common answer to a question I ask friends or even new people.

“Hey! How was your week? Did you do anything interesting?”

“Not really. I worked. Watched Netflix. Hung out with some friends.”

This is seriously the answer I get from a large majority of people. Even strangers. Some answers vary. But I notice this trend of repetitive weekly cycles. Work, school, maybe some friend time here and there, sleep then repeat. This BUGS me. Especially when I hear the reasons why people are working so much. Most people I know are working so they gain the liberty to do something. Where’s the dream chasers? Where’s the people with wacky and hilarious stories to tell?

Shouldn’t every single moment we live be like the moments we envision making us the happiest? Not moments envisioning that long awaited moment of joy but feeling it the entire time? I know people will think I’m against work. But I’m not. I understand that money is needed for things. I’m in school pursuing a B.A in English so I can get a career doing something I love. But that’s 2-3 years from now. I want to visit Canada for a week. So I need to save up money for it. But that’s 8 months from now. What this post is about is “now”. While we’re waiting for that special moment we should be making all of the moments in-between just as special.

There is no destination happiness. Happiness is a lifestyle. It’s the actions and choices we make on a daily basis. Last winter I traveled to England because I thought I met the woman of my dreams. I made zero hesitations. As soon as I had a break from school, I took a week away from work and went to England ALONE. And it was my FIRST time flying a plane and going overseas.

Stupid? Sure. Dangerous? YES. But, damn I was living. I was living in the moment and not for the moment. My heart was racing every minute of it. I got to see the world from high above. I got to see another part of the world. I saw all of these different cultures and spoke to people from different parts of the world. I had the best New Years of my life. And things didn’t even turn out the way I wanted. I got my heart broken. The trip had it’s high and low points. Regardless of how the trip turned out, I had one of the greatest trips in my life. I made a story I will never forget. I traveled across the freaking world. I was brave. I chased a dream. I don’t regret a single moment because that trip taught me how to live my life to the fullest.

That’s how we should be living our lives each day. Regardless of what good or bad comes our way, we should be living life the way we dream of living it. We shouldn’t be living our lives for the moment but in it. And no I’m not saying it’s bad to have goals. I’m not saying quit your job. A farmer too lazy to plant in the spring has nothing to harvest in the fall. You have to work if you want to survive in this world for the most part. I still want to graduate from college. I very much still want to be a successful husband and father someday. But now I realize those things are only TINY fragments of a much bigger picture.

I used to dream of being 27-30. When I was 27 I would be married and before 30 I would have children. Envisioning myself in those scenarios made me happy. REALLY happy. It even gave me hope. It was truly my designated happy moment. So whenever I met a girl remotely compatible to me I would suddenly go from a 7 to 10 on my happiness scale. Why? Because I was one step closer to my designated happy moment that I had envisioned for years. I’m 22 by the way (haha).

During those low moments in England I cried. I mean I really CRASHED. And it wasn’t because of her. I felt that my happiness had literally been snatched away. Stolen. I felt robbed and betrayed. The one moment I dreamed of for years was further away and it killed me. Can you see how ridiculous that is? I placed so much value in a moment that didn’t exist that it ended up hurting me. That’s what most of us do. We put value in all of these things and let happiness take a physical form. Once it’s gone we crash and we crash hard. We place our happiness in a future we have never seen to give us the most happiness. Honestly I think that’s insane.

I see people worship cars. What happens when that car is gone or totaled? They’re PISSED. They worked their rear for it. They worked and dreamed of that moment where they’d ride that car. Happy as can be. Then just like that when the car is gone so it the joy that came with it. Apply that scene to any long termed goal you have that you imagine making you really happy. I’m willing to bet if it fell apart, so would you. That is crazy.

I am so happy I went to England. It made me realize I was living life partly wrong. My attitude was solid but my mentality was off. Cease the moment and don’t hold back. I saw something i wanted and went for it. I didn’t wait. And that experience gave me tons of experiences and even knowledge. Happiness shouldn’t be what the future can give but what we can give ourselves in the present moment. Today. These moments should make us so happy that a little alteration in tomorrow won’t bug us so much. Happiness is something we all have the choice and power to create.

Tomorrow I will be watching my first sunset. I’ve never done it before. I’ve decided that I want to do something new every single day. I want to create moments every day until I’m at the moment I dream of the most and maybe after. I want to do things I’d never dream of or always have dreamed of but was too scared to do it. Everything doesn’t require a large bill. Watching sunsets is free. Instead of waiting for moments I want to cease make them and cease one’s that present themselves. I want every moment to make my heart race.

I hadn’t blogged for a while and it’s because I didn’t really have a subject. But now I think I want to inspire people to live life to it’s fullest. Go out of your comfort zone. Chase and catch a dream.

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