This is four or so pages from a book I’m writing called “Cloud Head”. While I was taking creative writing last semester I played around with character voices. The product was one of my newest characters, Amy Conrad. She’s a girl who was born and raised on a farm in Tennessee. Naturally she has an accent and after she moves into the city with her cousin, Julie, it shows heavily.
I personally welcome feedback and comments on this post because I want to know if her accent is written too heavily or anything. Aside from that I’m still working on concept art for my graphic novel. I’m very excited about this. Once I take my math final Saturday I’ll have more time to work on it. For now here’s some of Cloud Head. Enjoy!
Julie laughed away, “Oh my gosh, Brock! You’re so freakin’ funny, holy cow! Isn’t he funny, Amy?” I could’ve barfed at her integrity. That girl had liar written all over her pretty face. Made me wonder if she was like that with all them other boys. Fake and such. Adaptin’ to the boys she met like some lizard just to get a man. To tell you the truth, it made me feel like a phony just sittin’ there.
Thankfully I didn’t have to lie cause the waiter brought us food. I ordered these spicy chicken tenders with French fries. It was the closest thing to Cajun food that I could think of. Didn’t want to upset Julie by askin’ if they had any country dishes. Heaven forbid I ask for somethin’ I actually enjoyed. They weren’t half bad though.
As I was eatin’ Mark said, “Whoa, Texas. You sure do have an appetite on you. Do you want the rest of my fries?” I shook my head no and smiled. Julie was watchin’ me an all. Tryin’ to keep me in check. I just ignored her as usual.
“Well can I get you desert, Texas? They have this Oreo cheesecake that’s out of this world. You would love it.”
It took a lot not to blow up on him. Did the boy even know my name? The more he talked the more frustrated I got with Julie but more of myself. I was sittin’ there with a skimpy dress on, eatin’ food I didn’t want and being some lil’ ol church mouse. Not speakin’ an all. I would a brought my sketchpad if I knew it was gonna be that way.
He said, “Are you alright, Texas? Is your food cold?”
I lost my cool, I’ll tell ya what. I put my fork down and said, “Boy my name is Amy and I ain’t from Texas. Who taught you how to speak to a lady anyhow? You ain’t ask me how my day was or what I like or nothin’.”
Julie said, “Amy!” I looked at her as she shot me the ol’ look. You know that look your mother gives ya when you’re about to do somethin’ you got no business doin’? Yeah, that look. I could have choked ol’ Julie. I have my limits and boy let me tell ya, Julie was pushin’ me to em.
“Sorry, Mark,” I said. “You a fine boy an all. But I just ain’t the girl for you. Sorry I embarrassed you, Julie. I’ll just get a cab home. You all enjoy your evenin’. I’m really sorry, Julie.”
She shook her head and waved. “It’s fine, Amy. Just go home and get some sleep or something. I’ll see you when I get home. Do you have money for the cab?”
“Yeah. Thanks though. I’ll be fine getting’ home. It ain’t too far away.” I walked away after I put my jacket on. I felt like a complete idiot or somethin’. Just like I thought. I had no business comin’ out that stupid house in that stupid ol’ dress. I felt like cryin’ to be honest. Why was it a crime to just be myself? Boy when I got home, I was bout to draw up about ten books.
But before that I had to go to the lil’ girls room. I had been holdin’ it in since I got to the place. Julie would have called me rude or somethin’ for leavin’ the table. As soon as I walked out I bumped into some guy’s tough chest. I nearly fell on my rear. When I stumbled back he took my hand and caught me. It was a firm but delicate hold. He pulled me up gently and held me.
“Sorry about that. I should pay attention to where I’m going. Are you ok, Miss?” Boy. His eyes were the most heart-warming spectrums I had ever laid mine on. Deep brown. When the light hit em you could see the color. Brown. Just like rich honey.
“Miss, are you ok? I didn’t hurt you did I?”
I couldn’t even speak. His voice wasn’t really deep, but it was very manly. Like he could’ve been some leader of an army or some superhero. I felt his soft yet firm touch on my hand and back, not too low but in the middle to support me. Boy if I was ice, this man would have melted me away.
I began to stutter and what not. “I…I’m fine. You, I, are you alright? I ain’t hurt you did I?”
“Yes actually. It did.”
I gasped and started panickin’ like a lil’ girl. “I did? Shoot. I’m sorry mister. My night ain’t goin’ too well and my mind is all worn out. I stormed out of that restroom not lookin’ nowhere. I’m sorry. Really. I am.”
He smiled a lil’. Man, he had the whitest teeth I had ever seen. All shiny and what not. The more I stared the warmer I got all over. He had this soft and brown skin. Remindin’ me of warm chocolate mama used to make me when I was lil’.
He laughed a lil’ and said, “I was joking, miss. No harm done.” He stood me up straight and boy I tell ya, I nearly latched right back onto em. I never said I was ok to stand. Quickly I grabbed my ankle sayin’, “Ouch. Oh my foot.” Then I lost my balance and actually did fall. Makin’ a fool out of myself.
Then he caught me. He caught me. Right in his strong arms. Oh my goodness I nearly lit the whole room on fire. My heart started racin’ all fast and I might’ve been shakin’ a bit. That boy was given me the ol’ goosebumps. But these goosebumps and excuse my language, but they felt damn good.
He said, “Whoa. Watch your step. Are you alright? You would have hit your head pretty hard. Here.” He stood me up. “Is your foot sprained?” I couldn’t speak. That handsome devil had me tongue-tied. I just stared, couldn’t look away worth a lick. Say something Amy. Say something. Anything gosh darn it!
“My, I um…I’m Amy Conrad.” It’s all my love struck brain could fire out. He smiled at me. When he smiled his eyes narrowed as light twinkled in them. All I could look at was his lips. So soft and full. Shoot. No boy had ever moved me like that before, I’ll tell you what. I didn’t even know that boy’s name and I wanted to kiss em! All I could think about was not letting him let me go. Don’t let that boy let you go, Amy. But I could barely focus my mind!
“It’s nice to catch you from falling, Amy Conrad. I’m…” Before he could speak someone called him. He looked away towards a group of guys. They looked more like the guys Julie was with. But he was different. Not just the way he looked. Skin color and all. But the way he spoke and the way he carried himself. So proper yet humble. So polite yet manly. Calm like a river and firm like an oak tree. This boy was special.
He looked at me. “Amy are you ok to stand?”
I stopped pretendin’ to be hurt. I stood. “Yes. I’m fine. Thanks. You a real sweet boy for catchin’ me an all.”
“Hey come on Shakespeare! Let’s get going. We have to celebrate.” One of his friends was calling for em.
“Those are my friends,” he said. “They went through the trouble of setting up this big night for me. It’s pretty special. If this were any other time I’d spend some time trying to learn more about a lady like you. You’re gorgeous you know.”
I nearly choked. “Me?” I even pointed to myself.
He shook his head. “That’s right. You, Amy Conrad. You look amazing. Have a good evening all right? Try not to fall again. We don’t want you ruining that sweet face.” He waved, winked and turned away. Damn, and sorry for my language but I think he stole my breath. Swept me right off my feet. By the time he joined his friends it hit me that I didn’t know his name.