One of my biggest dreams is to some day become a great husband and father. At age 21 I realize how early and odd it is to be thinking about something like that. But it’s just the way I am. It’s something I think about. Obviously when I date I don’t try and see if the girl is “the one”. I take my time, I have fun and play things by ear.
I’m a strong believer in people having control of their destinies and dreams. My belief is if you want something in your life it’s your job to go get it. For example I wanted to become an author. So instead of leaving things to chance I took the steps needed to finish a book the publish it. I believe this applies to the dating world. If you want romance you can’t sit around waiting for it to show up
You aren’t going to meet anyone special by sitting home all day watching tv. You have to be living and out in the world. I have been told that you can’t go looking for love. True. But love doesn’t really have a chance at finding you if you aren’t anywhere to be found either. A few weeks ago I gave my life a little tune-up and started going out more and doing things I enjoy and have a passion for.
Almost everyday I go to the gym and school to either work on stories or my studies. Every now and then I’ll visit and art museum or catch a show downtown. I’m an explorer. I’ll do anything I find interesting. I’m thinking about starting rock climbing to exercise my body more. The point is I am active and not stuck in the house anymore.
While I’m out and about I make it a point to meet any woman I find attractive, granted they don’t have a wedding ring. Nothing over the top. No pickup lines or Hollywood moves. I simply go up to the woman, pay her a compliment and greet her. If she’s open to talking I continue. If she isn’t I respectfully move on with my day and continue what I was doing.
At first this was pretty nerve-wreaking and scary. You never know how people will react or what they will say. But since dating is something I want in my life, it’s my job to get it in my life. I feel like a lot of guys have trouble with meeting new women. I didn’t want to be that type of guy. I didn’t want to be 30 and still intimidated by attractive women. So I went to work. BIG TIME. The only way to date is by meeting women no matter where or when.
My first week was shaky. My willingness to put my ego and self out there and risk getting embarrassed and or rejected was pretty low. But at the same I was so sick and tired of doubting myself and not even trying. It wasn’t just about meeting someone. It was about believing in myself no matter what. Over and over again I would approach, greet and meet. For the most part people are usually kind. It’s either a hit or miss. Sometimes I do get burned and other times I don’t get burned. Overall the confidence I gain from doing this makes it all worth it.
It only took me a month to get comfortable with meeting women who pull my interest. I can meet any woman at any time and place now. Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not out here sleeping around. I don’t go for married or committed women. And I’m not a player whatsoever. I’ve just gotten this level of confidence that allows me to meet people without fear while at the same time not letting that confidence get to my head. I do flirt around a lot. But I feel that’s fair as long as I’m not leading anyone on. Trust me once I get something steady going with someone my focus will be on them. My ultimate goal is to get into a relationship but I realize that can’t be forced. So I meet people until I reach that goal.
I can honestly say I’m glad I started this. It’s really paying off. A month ago it took every nerve in my body to meet a woman I liked. I always thought it was creepy or awkward. The truth is people appreciate it when you take the time to meet them IF you do it the right way. Don’t approach anyone spitting vulgarity or you might get a lawsuit. I always make sure to talk to people they way I would want to be talked to. Respect.
My hard work got me a pretty amazing last night. I met a girl a few days ago during my break at work. I had seen her a few times but only recently started talking to her. During my break I went to get my usual meal and when I saw her I flirted a bit. It made my day when she smiled the girliest smile. I was going to wait to ask her out but I couldn’t resist. So I gave her a little note and told her to read it after she finished work so she wasn’t distracted.
One thing led to another and we ended up going out for bowling and dinner at this incredible entertainment center. We made a bet that the winner had to buy dinner. It was fun and she was pretty…good. I was goofing around a bit and she started to beat me. The point of the bet was for me to win so I could treat her to dinner. But of course I came back and beat her.
Dinner was great. We didn’t even eat our food. We sat there talking and laughing. Just getting to know each other for hours. I really enjoyed it. Things felt really laid-back and simple. The last official date I had was in January in another country which inevitably ended with me being torn (a story not worth telling). So I needed last night. It was a nice refresher and I got to spend time with someone very interesting.
Our night ended on a high-note. Before I started this whole dating life and confidence with women thing, I made an oath to myself to stay grounded. I will never let the confidence go to my head. I won’t be arrogant or over the top. And I’m bringing romance back. Last night I made it a big deal to make that a GREAT night for her. I held doors for her, made her smile and laugh. I wanted to make the night memorable for her.
I had such a good time that I gave her a pink flower and asked her out to a second date. I had it sitting in my car with a water stem attached. If the date went well she would get it. Terrible and she wouldn’t. The flower was a thank you gesture. She took time out of her weekend to enjoy a night out with me. Not only that but I had a really good time. A beautiful girl with an amazing and quirky personality. I definitely forward to that second date. Resisting the urge to text her as I type.
I’m pretty sure I’m right about this destiny thing. It seems to me like when I work for what I want I eventually get it. I do believe in faith and things happening by chance. But I believe every person has the power to make those “by chance” moments to happen. I know some will argue with me but I like my results. I would rather work for something and know there’s a chance in getting it instead of just leaving things to chance alone. If you want something in life, make a plan, follow it and persist.
This post was meant to be up yesterday. But after I came home from working out I had little time. I still had to get ready for the date and buy the flower. I couldn’t be late to a date I offered so I put off blogging. That’s a good excuse right? Anyway I’m not sure why I chose my dating life to be my first post. I guess I want to start opening up more on my blog and show my current and future followers who I am and what I’m about. I’m more than just a fiction writer.
I’m interested in hearing about the dreams of others and what people are doing to catch those dreams. Do you want to meet someone special? What obstacles do you face and how do you overcome them? Want to write a book? What’s stopping you from publishing? It can be ANY dream. None are too big or small. Leave a comment below and share your dreams, experiences and stories. Enjoy your Sunday!
Follow my blog! I have a goal to reach 1k by next January. I’m looking to make my blog inspiring for people who dream like I do. I’ll post about my experiences with my pursuit of my desires and dreams so it will hopefully inspire others to do the same. I’m the ordinary guy doing big things.
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